I reeeeeally want to be good at meditation.
Seriously, like zen-out-super-chill-floating-on-a-cloud good at meditation.
The full story is that, I have a good intuition (although I don’t always listen to it), but I know it could be better if I took more time to quiet my mind.
I’ve had friends, mentors and even psychics tell me: You need to meditate…
…and then each touts the benefits I could personally experience if I made meditation a practice.
And then I try meditation, which results in me either:
- making to-do list in my head
- feeling anxiety about not working
- having a wandering mind and then beating myself up about having a wandering mind
- falling asleep
What happens then is that I’ll stop even trying to meditate, because I “suck at it.”
I haven’t figured out if I’m quitting because I have an unrealistic expectation of what beginners meditation would be or if I’m quitting because I don’t like to fail and I fail at meditation every time.
Perhaps a little bit of both.
But this morning, something strange happened. I attempted meditation and it was an extremely successful experience.
But I was successful because I went in thinking: I have no expectations for this other than to sit here for 10 minutes and if I make to-do lists or have a wandering mind, that’s ok because it’s not a failure unless I don’t learn from it.
It’s so funny how this experience has taught be so much about my life in general. Specifically:
- Fear of failure shouldn’t keep you from trying
- You either “succeed” or you learn, but in either case you win
- Focus on the joy of the journey not the expectation of the finish line, or else you might get frustrated and quit
Here’s to failing fast and consistent tries.