I want to talk about fear for a moment.
Two weeks ago I was convinced I’d be out of business by the end of the year.
I had jury duty for almost a week, then my great grandfather died, then I had a series of bad incidents surrounding my home, then I lost a client.
Fear OWNED me.
This week, I was literally frozen with fear on Monday night after getting another dose of bad news. Literally, sitting in my home office shaking with fear, letting every possible horrible thing run through my mind.
Full disclosure? My fearful spiral of “what’s the worst that could happen?” always ends with me living on the street and having to sell my body for food, or worse (*sarcasm*) having to move back in with my parents!
Fear is such a powerful and deadly force that we ALL have in us in varying degrees.
Some people would probably never guess that me — this mouthy, sometimes ball-busting chick, who is always telling people to “put up or shut up” or some vulgar equivalent — deals with fear so much.
Fear has a permanent spot in my life. He (spiders, fear, etc…pretty much all the yucky things in my life are usually male) is ALWAYS with me. Always.
Sometimes he’s hogtied and gagged while I have a high-heeled foot resting on his throat. Other times it seems our positions are the exact opposite (only Fear doesn’t wear heels. Usually just combat boots). He pretty much had me like that the WHOLE month of October.
My point is, fear is with me all day, every day. All day, every day.
What keeps me going?
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” Redmoon
You’ll probably see me use that quote a lot. It’s one of my favorites.
Fear can paralyze you, if you let it. So DON’T let it.
Don’t get me wrong, I let it paralyze me sometimes.
I let it con me into inaction, or, my personal favorite (read: the worst), sideways action that never quite gets me to where I really want to be, but takes me somewhere else that is totally wrong, but much “safer.”
You know, the times when you dance around what you really want because you’re too afraid?
Afraid of what people may think.
Afraid of falling on your face.
Afraid of (insert lame reason here or outcome that really wouldn’t be as bad as you’ve made it out to be)
Just plain afraid.
I’m guilty of it too. And that’s when I have to shake myself and say:
There he goes again. Fear. Kicking my ass. Stopping my dreams. Keeping me from going after what I really want. Keeping me in that “comfort zone.”
And why? For what?
Let me ask you:
What’s more important that your happiness? Your passion? Your ability to provide a better, more enjoyable life for your family? Your success? The success of your small business? Your brand?
I don’t think so.
“Hope strengthens. Fear kills.”
– Karen Moning, Fever Series.
[photo “Graffiti Fear” by GoTRISI]