I reeeeeally want to be good at meditation.

Seriously, like zen-out-super-chill-floating-on-a-cloud good at meditation.

The full story is that, I have a good intuition (although I don’t always listen to it), but I know it could be better if I took more time to quiet my mind.

I’ve had friends, mentors and even psychics tell me: You need to meditate…

…and then each touts the benefits I could personally experience if I made meditation a practice.

And then I try meditation, which results in me either:

  • making to-do list in my head
  • feeling anxiety about not working
  • having a wandering mind and then beating myself up about having a wandering mind
  • falling asleep

What happens then is that I’ll stop even trying to meditate, because I “suck at it.”

I haven’t figured out if I’m quitting because I have an unrealistic expectation of what beginners meditation would be or if I’m quitting because I don’t like to fail and I fail at meditation every time.

Perhaps a little bit of both.

But this morning, something strange happened. I attempted meditation and it was an extremely successful experience.

But I was successful because I went in thinking: I have no expectations for this other than to sit here for 10 minutes and if I make to-do lists or have a wandering mind, that’s ok because it’s not a failure unless I don’t learn from it.

It’s so funny how this experience has taught be so much about my life in general. Specifically:

  1. Fear of failure shouldn’t keep you from trying
  2. You either “succeed” or you learn, but in either case you win
  3. Focus on the joy of the journey not the expectation of the finish line, or else you might get frustrated and quit

Here’s to failing fast and consistent tries.