life begins at the end of your comfort zone

My comfort zone told me NOT to write this blog post.

It told me I was stupid for wanting to tell people how my world was thoroughly rocked this summer. It told me: no one will care. no one will want to read it. no one will GET what you’re going through.

I ignored it.

Partly because I was being rebellious, but mostly because recently I had a pretty big comfort zone end, so I’m pretty numb to what others think. This comfort zone was one I considered to be my safest, greatest and most secure comfort zone of all and it ended. My marriage.

Don’t cry or feel sorry for me, I’ve done enough of that myself…along with taking a lot of time off from my business, life and every other responsibility I could shirk in favor of wallowing in self-pity.

I had some woe-is-me-how-will-I-ever-manage-this-thing-alone moments. And many I’ll-never-get-married-again-I’ll-never-be-able-to-have-children moments. And even more life-[expletive]-[expletive]-[expletive]-[expletive]-sucks moments.

I will always love my husband, very dearly (I hope he knows that), but, despite the panic attacks and grief, I’m discovering that life is just beginning for me. Yes, this amazing thing ended, but what is next for me? What else is out there? What great, wonderful, terrific things are waiting for me, now that I’m outside of that comfort zone? And what awful, devastatingly bad things are waiting for me?

It can be a scary thought, but I will never experience any of those things, good or bad, if I don’t move forward. And neither will you.

For me, a huge, monumental comfort zone ended and now I have to either take control of my life without the nice, soft, cushy padding I believed kept me safe, or quake in fear at the thought of living, or existing, without it.

What false comfort zone are you living in?

A bad marriage? A safe job? A boring business model? A same-ol’-same-ol’ lifestyle? An outdated company tradition?


There is power in stepping outside of your comfort zone.

There is power in facing that fear.

There is power in saying “F’ it! I’m taking the wheel of this ride I call my life.”

OWN your life. Don’t just rent it.

Renting is safe.

OWNING is not. But owning is so much more rewarding.


Last month, I helped a client, Carolina Parent magazine, launch a new digital media initiative, their Online Baby Fair. It was an amazing success for building revenue, traffic and audience growth. It was also a great and much needed initiative in their community. Was it easy? Ha! No. It was a step, or two, or three outside of their comfort zone, but the success and buzz it generated has sister publications jumping on board to launch similar initiatives.

Another client, spicy romance author Qwillia Rain, recently self-published her first book. Totally outside of her comfort zone as Qwillia has been published with a prominent romance publisher for years. Again, a hop, skip and jump outside of her comfort zone, but every time I speak with her she gushes over her decision and her sales. As her publicist, I gush with her.


I’m not here to break up marriages. Or push people to recklessly face their fears. God knows I’m still building up the courage to even look at a spider, but I am here to encourage you to push yourself a little harder toward greatness. A little harder toward achieving the success you deserve in your business.

So my message to you is simple.




  1. Bravo to you, girlfriend!! I’ve seen people get eaten up by life and are still going through the chewing now. Cyber hugs for jumping back into the saddle again. Nobody knows what life holds for them, but I know what I can control and that’s all that matters.

  2. Tivi, I love this post! Thank you for writing it and not keeping it to yourself. I have been watching your business ventures in the background. Even though we haven’t spoken, I don’t worry about you. You have incredible strength and drive, and I’m excited to see what is next for you. Love you!

  3. Tivi, I admire you for opening yourself up. I admire you for the courage you’re showing as you step out in your new life. But mostly, I admire your graciousness and your ability to still love a man who obviously broke your heart. You could have used this space to bash the ex. You could have used this space to air your dirty laundry. Or wail at fate. Instead, you have shared your pain, your hopes, and your encouragement that others find the strength you’ve found. You are–in a word–a true lady.

  4. You are so awesome Tivi. Reading your blog has really touched my heart in so many ways. Thanks for all that you do and for such inspiring words. Let the task begin!

  5. Oh, Tivi, I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage, but so impressed that you are learning from it and embracing the change as a new and exciting challenge. You know we’re here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on. Hang in there, and keep being such a wonderful lady!


  6. Tivi, I grieve with you for this suffering you have endured, but rejoice with you in your strength and courage and amazing spirit! I have always admired that spirit, and conversations with you and your posts on this blog have inspired me many times. I wish you continual inspiration, excitement and joy in this new adventure Life has brought you. I have no doubt that you will triumph because you aren’t content with Comfort Zones. Soar high, great lady!

  7. Hey Tivi just want to first say that I am sorry about ur marriage. You guys were such a wonderful couple and when I heard I could nt help the tears from flowing. You are such a beautiful person and your post is also so nice, your pain is felt but what stands out most is your strength. I know that Allah does everything for a reason and as the post before said you are going to soar. Love you

    1. Thanks so much, Ray! And everyone who left me such wonderful and inspiring messages.

      This is a tough journey.

      I don’t regret one step on my path with my husband and I don’t plan on regretting any moving forward. I will conquer.

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